My mother-in-law had been wanting to bring the entire family to China, to her and our father-in-law’s hometown in Xiamen for a while now saying it would be more meaningful for the family than any other trip. But truth be told, I only started to feel excited about going when I realized I would be setting foot on the very land where my own late paternal grandfather, beloved and dearest to me, was born and raised. There is even the possibility that I could see the house he had built for his relatives by the sea and meet family.
It doesn’t matter whatever I felt about the trip though because we were all going. Our visas had arrived. Even the children who wanted to go to Japan instead were already starting to feel a modicum of excitement. I suppose there is always a certain degree of anticipation when it comes to traveling with your cousins and kin. Next thing we know, together with my husband’s side of the family, we were flying to Manila then waiting with our bulky and plenteous luggage at the airport for our flight to Jinjiang (Xiamen).
Our group of twelve arrived late at night and struggled a bit at immigration with the filling up of forms resulting in being one of the last ones to leave the airport. Right outside, possibly tired but extremely genial relatives welcomed us, assisted us with our sizeable luggage and accompanied us in the coaster bus that my father-in-law had rented for the rest of our trip. It was possibly two hours before we arrived at our very modern and fancy hotel in Nan’an where we were welcomed again by more smiling relatives who provided us with very delicious Nai Cha or milk tea and fresh blueberries while we were in the lobby waiting for our keys. The Nai Cha had a hint of coconut and was truly refreshing and delicious. Before the relatives said their goodbyes, or see you laters rather, they left us delicious sticky rice cakes and other snacks.
Later on though, I would learn that staying in Nan’an meant that we would be traveling for an hour or more to the places that we were really meant to visit. The first being Qianshan which is the village of my father-in-law. We entered his stately, red brick bungalow with relatives welcoming us in the doorway. We saw pictures of his ancestors on the walls, and our parents presented their food offerings. We were given lighted incenses while prayers were chanted and we were made to bow. After that, we rode the coaster bus again and it brought us to a mountaintop where after a short hike we reached the tomb of my father-in-law’s mother. We also paid our respects with incense, food offerings and prayers there. On the opposite side of the mountain, was the tomb of my father-in-law’s grandmother, and we paid our respects there as well, with paper money, prayers, incense and food offerings.
We then drove back to my father-in-law’s ancestral home where lunch was going to be served. We were supposed to eat home food from their hometown so we didn’t expect it to be a feast. But it was. There was a catering service, some of the food being cooked right then and there at their home, the cook and server squatting on the ground just outside the entrance and preparing the meal. The simple red brick home was transformed when crimson stools and crimson vinyl round table covers festooned the place. It was then that we knew that the Chinese really took their food seriously. From the Lomi, which was served first and which was the best lomi I ever had (and my dad sells this dish for a living), to the abalone, to the lobsters, to the sea cucumber, to the scallops, to the fish, everything tasted like we were in a five-star hotel instead of in a modest ancestral home.
After that visit to my father-in-law’s place, it was my mother-in-law’s turn. Her village was not that far from his. There were paddy fields, cabbages by the roadside, snails in the ponds. And her ancestral home was a quaint two-story red brick structure with green marble balustrades on the front of the balcony. Inside it the house looked timeless yet the the furnishings had a distinctively old world charm. There we also found photos of her parents on an altar, and we offered food, incense and prayers there too. They also presented us with mulberries, tangerines and other fruits for a snack together with a most soothing tea in dainty cups. After that, my mother-in-law showed us around the house, pointing out her childhood pictures, the lacquered bedposts and the original kitchen and dining room. Later, the kids also received Ang Paos (red envelopes) or cash gifts from all their relatives.
Then we left her house to go to a columbarium where her parents’ ashes were. There we also offered incense, food and prayers. And then we left and headed back to the hotel but not before eating at this casual hot pot (shabu2x) place where you can choose fresh seafood and other ingredients and cook it as you desired. It was blissful but I was still pretty full from that sumptuous lunch.
Included in our busy itinerary (we leave the hotel at around nine in the morning and return quite late at night) was a trip to the Quanzhou Science Center and Museum for the kids, Kaiyuan Temple, Wudian Tradition Block, Xiamen University grounds and also a majestic reservoir somewhere near father-in-law’s village. All these sightseeing interspersed with the consumption of the most exquisite cuisine.
In fact, my sister-in-law and I kid around that this trip is not only ancestral, cultural, educational and historical but also gustatory. And indeed it was. I also learned that in China, people show their love and affection by feeding you or offering you food to eat, which you must graciously accept. They are also fond of ladling food on your plate, a gesture that shows their concern and attention, and if you are full, it will be difficult to refuse. Even impossible.
I look at the last few pictures on my phone of our trip to China, our visit to a Xiamen mall where the kids were able to have fun with trick photography, candid photos in the airport that I took of the kids sleeping in awkward positions due to our red-eye flight, photos of food that I’ll miss; like the fried oyster cake and warm millet porridge that I always gravitated to at the hotel’s buffet for breakfast and even a photo of me standing beside my mother-in-law, both smiling in front of a profusion of tiny red flowers.
I had to smile again, after all, though there was a language barrier as most of us do not speak her native tongue, I had to agree that she was right, meeting her family and my father-in-law’s family was not only meaningful but eye-opening as it showed me where the kids’ traits came from; their intellect, wit, humor, tastes and even revealed to me why my parents-in-law’s house in the Philippines look like so. It is reminiscent of their past and traditions, an ode to the life they left behind.
In the end, this China trip is not only a meaningful homecoming, a wholesome adventure or a portal to the past but it is a glimpse of the future, especially of what our children could become and what we would hopefully be to them.
Featured photo by Malachy S. Gomez
